Building Our Capacity for Joy - How to feel joy more often
Why do we get nervous when things start to feel really good? Why does the mind often sabotage moments of Joy or bliss? Joy is a wonderful, expansive state and can also be overwhelming or even terrifying - as Brene Brown says "When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy can be foreboding". We're not talking about happiness or excitement that stems from external circumstances, here we're talking about the kind of joy that can be heartbreaking or knock you off your feet. This episode is all about how we can increase our capacity for Joy regardless of the context of our everyday lives. Feeling joy is a risk, it takes courage. Let's dive in!
“Increasing our capacity to feel and experience Joy is not about changing external factors. We often mistake Joy for Happiness, but they are completely different states. Happiness relies on context. Joy is linked to gratitude, flow, and a deeper level of presence. Expanding our capacity to feel Joy has little to do with forcefully changing aspects of our lives, and more to do with how much we can be present with what is within and in front of us.”
Why is Joy so terrifying? Why do our minds so often rob us of moments of deep presence, gratitude, and Joy?
Joy can be a reminder of death, loss, and grief, of our impermanence. Especially for trauma survivors, we are often waiting for the other shoe to drop.
We all have an “emotional comfort zone” - emotions and levels of intensity that feel familiar or tolerable and ones that don’t. The body and nervous system don’t differentiate between “good” or “bad” emotions, only intensity and familiarity.
So for many, Joy and bliss can feel intense and uncomfortable as our minds try to bring us back to a familiar place.
Joy is a vulnerable state and when we allow ourselves to be present, often other emotions that were stuffed down come up too. So how do we increase our capacity for joy? Slowly, gently increase our capacity to be in our bodies, practice feeling grateful for small ordinary moments, and ask your heart to stay open when it wants to clench shut.
What you’ll learn in this episode - Building Our Capacity for Joy :
the difference between happiness and joy
why joy can feel so terrifying at times
why joy and grief are connected
how we can cultivate our capacity for joy
DEPTH Work - A Holistic Mental Health Podcast
This is a space for those who love to dive into the underbelly, to revel in the mystery, question assumptions about what is normal, play in both/and, and honour the wide range of human emotions.
As a complex trauma survivor, holistic counsellor and co-founder of a mental health institute, I learned that there is immense wisdom in our pain and what we call crazy is just what we are yet not willing to understand and explore. Let’s dive in!
