The Signs Of Overwhelm That No One Told Me About
I wish someone had told me sooner that we all react VERY differently to overwhelm. For years, I have denied myself the possibility that what I was experiencing could be overwhelm because it didn’t look like the “classic symptoms” I had known. I wasn’t traditionally exhausted, dragging my feet, feeling low, dispassionate, or depressed. On the outside I actually seemed productive, energized, laser-focused, moving from one task to the next seamlessly. When someone who knew me well would insinuate I was doing too much or could be overwhelmed, I’d say:
“But I can do it” or
“But I like doing it all” or
“But I don’t feel exhausted”.
And it was all true. I liked what I was doing and I didn’t feel tired. In truth, I was numb to the tiredness that lingered underneath the state that felt comfortable to me – the state I now define as nervous system “overdrive”.
Being in a state of nervous system overdrive is more difficult to detect than what we typically think of as overwhelm, mostly because for some of us – It feels kind of good. For many of us with trauma, we are all too comfortable with the familiar feeling of always having something to pay attention to or focus on or fix or solve. It gives the illusion of control - trying to keep all the balls balancing on the tip of our nose and nonetheless (in our hyper-productive capitalistic society) getting praised for it. Many of us have been conditioned to thrive in chaos, and so, to insinuate we shouldn’t have to, is simply a foreign concept to the body.
I think of overdrive as a feeling similar to how a car kicks into a different gear as you’re going uphill or your computer kicks on the fan to avoid overheating. Your internal motor starts to move faster and faster to keep up. It’s almost…exhilarating. It’s also much harder to downshift intentionally because everything in your body can be screaming “NOOOO! We have to keep going!”. It may feel unsafe to slow down. It may feel counterintuitive. It may simply feel impossible because as much as your more centered self wants to ground, your nervous system is still running the motor.
Nervous system overdrive is a physical state that requires so much more than a mental shift. It requires a whole-body approach.
Some signs of nervous system overdrive:
Not eating much or running on empty for much of the day
Insomnia, going to sleep late, or having trouble turning your mind off at night
Difficulty switching to a more calming or grounding activity, unable to get out of “work mode”, or taking little to no breaks in between
Anxiety upon waking or throughout the day, a low grade “hum” of nervousness underneath it all
Feeling hyper, jittery, in “go mode”
Low blood sugar
Relying on caffeine to keep going
Feeling disconnected from people around you or unable to connect intimately
Losing passion or desire but pushing on anyways
If you’re experiencing any of these, I want to gently remind you (and me) that you don’t need to justify your overwhelm. You don’t need a “good reason” to feel this way or find out why. It’s enough that you are human and being human is overwhelming, especially right now.
You may already have this resource, but I want to point you towards my 12 Grounding Practices guide that gives you 12 crucial resources + a meditation for calming the nervous system. I'm linking it below for you to download and share as you like.
One of the most insidious aspects of nervous system overdrive is the resistance we have to grounding or slowing down. When anyone told me to ground I said “yeah yeah yeah” rolled my eyes, and ignored it. I know how crucial grounding is in the work that I do, but it just felt so counter to what my body was telling me to do, which was “keep moving!”. That’s why I needed it even more than I could’ve imagined.
Resistance is normal, but take your moment anyways, even if it’s just a few breaths, a moment of silence, a car ride without a podcast, a day of no self-improvement, or a mindful bite of food.
Sending you love and relaxation,
Jazmine