5 Alternatives to New Years Resolutions
Happy 2022! My hope for us all is that this year includes a lot more ease and a lot more connection. I hope we use this space between 2021 and 2022 to feel proud of all we've become.
I'm a big planning nerd, but you might be surprised to know I'm not a fan of new years resolutions for several reasons:
Jan 1st is an arbitrary time to feel like we need to "make a change." It can be filled with pressure or new hope that quickly deflates by February. Changes can in fact be made any time of year, and any day.
Often we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to change or "be better" - what if we weren't constantly striving for more or critiquing our existence?
Even if we do identify a fantastic goal for ourselves, "resolutions" don't mean anything if we don't set ourselves up for success by planning in moments of reflection and self-awareness throughout the year.
5 Things To Do Instead of Set New Year's Resolutions:
1. Celebrate your wins
I'm sure there are plenty of wins you had this year that have gone completely unrecognized by you. Have you set better boundaries for yourself? Taken more time off of social media? Made a friend? Started a journal? Went to therapy? Survived the pandemic? You, my friend, are winning. No matter now "small" the accomplishment, I hope you take time to celebrate, because setting new goals will just keep us on the hamster wheel if we don't honor what we've already done. By celebrate, I don't just mean write them down or give yourself a pat on the back, but truly reward your accomplishments by doing something you love.
Here are a few celebration ideas: have a solo dance party in your home, ask a friend if you can tell them all the things you're proud of yourself for (they might even add in a few for you), get yourself some fresh flowers, make your favorite meal, take yourself on a date. You deserve it, my dear.
2. Integrate Lessons From Last Year
In addition to honoring your small wins, have you honored the lessons you've learned this year? How have you grown personally or spiritually? Hard-earned lessons take time to set in and we are always faced with new opportunities to re-learn and integrate them. So instead of adding more to your list, ask yourself: What will I do this year to integrate the lessons I learned last year?
3. Bring In Slowness & Ease
Last year, I set a "goal" for myself to bring in more slowness. I had just passed down my role as director of the Institute for the Development of Human Arts to our co-director, and went full-time on seeing clients. I knew I needed to alter my pace of life and that it wouldn't be easy to shake off the remnants of workaholism. I know the goal of "slowness" was vague but I set a few ideas for myself of how to embody that and truly, this year I feel I really inhabited slowness in many ways. If you're tired and burned out, how about make your resolution or "goal" this year to bring in more slowness and ease. You won't regret it.
4. Set up a 2022 Planner
Hear me out. You may not be a "planner person" and I too, about 5 years ago, hated all things planning related. I kept appointments in my head and it felt overwhelming to think about writing things down. However, I realized that while I thought I had no planning system, my system was just severely dysfunctional for me and included crunched up sticky notes, faulty memory, and lists I made in my email drafts never to be found again... You don't need to buy a fancy planner, but having something online or in hand to keep track of events, dates, birthdays, to-dos, project ideas, and memories makes looking back at the end of the year really special. It's far easier to remember that you do wonderful things and can be a place for personal reflection.
5. Schedule Monthly Reflection Times
Speaking of reflection, I find having a monthly reflection date with yourself to be a lot more powerful than a once-a-year resolution. Our lives are dynamic. Our desires, life-path, and circumstances are always changing. If we don't check in with ourselves regularly, we can lose sight of why we're doing what we're doing. Having some reflection time takes less than 15 minutes and can be powerful.
Here's my monthly reflection process below.
I ask myself 5 things at the end of each month:
What's a word that captures a major theme this month?
What were my biggest wins?
What lessons did I learn?
What will I stop doing? What's no longer working?
What was my most improved life area? (Did I see improvement in my home, self, spiritual growth, friendships, rest, etc?) If you want to see the whole process, I made a video about it that you can watch here.
I hope that instead of personal resolutions, you bring on a personal revolution of heart and mind, accepting yourself and your inherent worthiness for all the beauty that you are.